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bk 2 -oh oh 7 – chapter 2…queens day & B-S..

Chapter 2..on ."queens day" ..met a "princess trouble" and a lot of "B-S"

I had only a few "contacts" with anyone in Zwolle, a couple of superficial chats and an encounter with "Diana" who had been very amourous then ignored me without reason or explanation, so I didn’t bother talking to women for a while, Zwolle isnt like amsterdam or Rotterdam (which I prefer, because people are similar to LP) ..the "Zwolse" are a bit conservative, cool or even cold…until drunk…I had danced with Diana at "de singel" ( a bar which stays open virtually all night, owned by an Ajax fan) after coming back from a game, losing my voice and having a laugh , flirting via written messages on beer mats!..she wanted to come back to my "penthouse – shoebox" ..but we didn’t quite…and that was it…I got to meet Noel Shannon, an Irish lad ,living in the same street , who sung in the irish pub there (although it is managed by dutch, who didnt really recreate the "craic")  where I had (rarely|) watched games on the big screen (with NO sound?) ..there were celebrations between "queens day" end of April, May 1 and "Liberation day" 5 may..live music and stuff in the streets as the city centre was closed to traffic.

Noel told me , on the eve of "queens day" that he would be  performing in "Sally’s" and I decided to "look the part" , close shave , long shower, smellies, nice bright , fresh shirt, clean shoes and smart jeans, but didn’t really "expect" anything….but..Noel had already started when I arrived and HE STOPPED playing as I walked through the main pub doors…and said "Hey Chris, my wife and friends are over there, go and join them, and I ll be seeing you at the break!" …of course EVERYone looked at me, so I grapped a drink at the bar and made my way to their table where a mixture of men , women and  teenagers were gathered. I said hello to his wife, who then introduced me to the crowd, including tall Sandra (who was "single) but my eyes caught "JD" …and I wont say her name because our "2 year saga" probably justifies a mini-series…

I somehow got talking to his wife, Sandra and  to JD,although her husband (Hem) was there, but although tall, sort of insignificant , and when Noel took his pause, he told me that "the group" would be going on after from the "irisn inn" nearby , and would I like to join "them" in a tour of the night life and celebrations going on.."sure" ..I mean this was first time in almost 6 months or so of living there that I had the chance to go out "as a group" at least I would learn a bit more than the 2 "favourite" bar-cafes that I knew. I didn’t fancy Sandra, and she didnt make any move towards me either, so I just relaxed and when Sandra and JD said that I should follow them to the Irish Inn, I did.  We waited , but Noel nor his wife or anyone else showed, so i "toured" with Sandra and JD, more drinks, more jokes, and dancing, it just seemed more natural to dance with JD, I couldn’t imagine Sandra.."fitting" . JD got close, then closer, then we brushed lips, and she said something to Sandra, and we found ourselves alone within the noise of the party amosphere…OI knew she lived nearby my place, and to get there we had to pass through the park, and it got intimate…and we stopped at my address on the way, and we collapsed into my little room, she didnt even take her shoes off (funny the things we remember <smile>) ..it was extremely intimate, without going into details, and later that night ?early next morning as the light came in, she was gone…

I did not have her phone number, then I remembered she was married, but she hadn’t acted like it…she had said something about "problems with hem" but we were both fairly well oiled so I almost expected "another Diana" and switched off..had I not seen her when walking round the "queens day" celebrations..she gave me her mobile number, but her husband and kids were around, so I wanted to find out her real "status" before going on with anything, a younger girl came up to me , that I had met in the irish pub a few weeks earlier, and she flirted a bit, and there was, of course, as so often in life, 2 paths, 2 choices, I was polite to the younger lady, very attractive but decided to wait, I always seem to choose the more difficult route, but its where I find myself, in every sense of the word ; "find"…and sure you can go through y-our lives taking the easy ways, taking no risks, following the system, and whats left then ; another "borg" (semi-robot)..

JD told me that her mariage had been on the rocks since several years, and she had been going out on her own with her mate Sandra meeting getting drunk and meeting different guys for sex. It would have been possible to walk away, but something – the same something (aura) drew me to her , I felt she had a good heart blackened by what? I didnt know that will only be revealed if I write w whole book about our relationship of the next 2 years. She wanted sex from, and I think some understanding , as she and  ‘hem’ had been together more or less since they were teenagers, was it just simply stale, or a deeper issue, she told me she needed me, so I decided to be a "friend" and more if she wanted. She told me of terrible arguments and that her 2 teenage kids were being used as weapons by "hem" (and to some extent her too) . She would visit me at the "shoebox" for coffee and a chat, and often toi make love. I didn’t like this "secrecy" which she said was to protect the children, but really she admitted, after so much time, and having both lived only in Zwolle, all their social and working relationship were "local" it was a big effort for her to "split" and "hem" would n’t leave, no matter how bad, as he was a lazy coward. She would phone me and we would meet in the park, and she would tell me her problems, and sometimes we met when she was "out" ("hem" thinking she was with Sandra)..

One time though he saw us talking outside a bar close to midnight, and "hung around" , this was a 2 metre + tall guy who worked out played sport and such, and he just "hung around" a few metres away. JD called to him, and said "go home" but he did n’t. I asked what she wanted, did she want a relationship with me or "hem" she wanted ME! but couldn’t face the "consequences" …then he came over and started insulting me, so I told him where to go, and told JD that she had better decide, one way or another, for everyone’s sake, and she biked home, with him a few metres away. It was a weird scene, so next time she asked me to meet II told her I travel to the REDS games a lot and would also be playing football (with the Antwerp "Lunatics") in the summer tournaments all over Europe, she would have a long summer holiday with her family and her parents, so I said then perhaps you should take time to consider what you are doing, but IF you tell me now that your marriage is over, then you must be honest, but she wouldn’t face it, and several times we met that spring and "ceased contact" and I got some nasty sms from her, when she was obviously "playing the wife" as if to say that I should leave her alone, so I did, and then she would contact me , often in tears, and HAD to see me again..

So that first set of min-dramas with JD (probably a mini-series on TV would be more appropriate than a book <smile> ) occupied most of the spring, apart from seeing as many REDS games as I could I went to see the lads in Antwerp and used the Zwolle library to contue my EdAgN and "WorldChild" projects…and B-S…

Bouma-Smith ("B-S") was the company I had formed for my "protege" Robin van Loo (Jo’s son) to …a) show him what you cant learn in college or business school, b) to teach him how to form companies and c) how to provide a "start-up" sevrice to potential entrepreneurs, with one proviso; the client companies activities  must be ecological or at least not be harmful to the planet or humanity. we had a Rabobank account at nearby Heerde, as Jos’ husband ; I also opened a private account there. Albert worked at Rabobank local head office in Zwolle. For a time I went to visit their family in nearby Waoenveld, I got on well with all three children, and Robin was now leabing home to study business managment  at ERasmus university in Rotterdam, I visited him there too, and Albert got sort of jealous, and then I noticed also that the attitude of the bank changed, not so helpful, and a girl at the Heerde branch suddenyl also sent me a weird email "please do not send private emails" …all I had done was to confirm our recent meeting at the bank, inform about our "services" (promotional /creatrive courses, tours and connections in Liverpool and Istanbul etc) and invite her to a little "launch party" ..another "sicky woman"

…"B-S" had also registered with the LIVERPOOL chamber of commerce, and whenever I had reason to travel, either for the creative aspects of "WorldChild" for EdAgN (direct action-grass ROUTES networking) or B-S , I would fit in a game at Anfield or vice versa <smile> ..some problems with Rabobank were irritating me, then our ISP (Internet service provider) in holland , since several years, wouldn’t deal with my complaints about (cia/govt?) interference and delays in emails and virus bombs on the websites of B-S – its associate website "HsM" and www>freedome.org…it seemed once more the "ugly monster" had found me in the "never-ever lands" and determined to stop my "progress"
– I recall my Rabobank mastercard being fouled up and being rejected, not only did that cause embarassment with some potential clients but also with the cafe-owner in Hattem which had been my "base" and the intended launch -pad for the "RED nose invasion" a massive campaign I had planned for childrens charities (based on the British "Red nose day" and the example of Patch Adams = in holland known as the "clinic clowns)  The problems with the bank card caused a withdrawal of the cafe "base" and (Erick) the owner played a trick on the "sponsorship T-shirts for DSD/RED nose day and refused to pay for them when I confronted him. As a result the t-shirt supplied lost 100 euros and spent the next months moaoning about it..the Dutch can be "extremely petty" when it comes to money…(research on reasons ? , <smile>)

I also had some "conflicts " in Liverpool, as in the last year or so  I was invited to that new "trend" of "business breakfasts" via various members/organisations promoted via the chamber of commerce..and to some "entrepreneurial fairs" but I found it so amusing, stepping back into the (pre-meningitis coma) life I had dropped out of in 1995, but without the pressure, I no longer wore ties and business suits, so my jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket was "noticed" from all the other uniforms, and I had met a woman from Zwolle in one meeting, she also came and supported the "DamStarDeep" concerts and smiled at one breakfast when I said when asked my "profession" duting the "2 minute round" said I was " a cultural missionary" in Europe, (bearing in mind that there was a 3 BILLION pound "build up" going on in Liverpool for the "European Capital of Culture" ; "08"…) 

Scousers are great people, but, there are their "bitters" and the people in any group , stuck to conventional thinking. In the busines network, some tried to encourage me to project my enterprise by "their rules" and thats the same going on now with Rafa, people want him to become a "normal manager" rather than doing it HIS way. I respect him because I can see the way hes going on, because if I was him I wouldn’t let tradtional and "in the box" methods hold me back.. When we were finished in the recording studio one night, and I took Sofie (wearing a causual track suit ) to a prestigeous dinner with celebreties and the (blue) leader of the council etc – in the open question time,  I criticised the local government..because the office room on the main route of the airport bus was empty (with "to let" sign) and I asked the council leader in front of all these celebreties and leading business people that it was lack of promotiional awarness, that every 20 minutes, the centre mainly responsible for promoting "08" was empty, and why didnt they offer this room FREE to budding entrepreneurs, instead of spending billions on new shopping centres (and NO tram!) …that burnt some "bridges" too..

how about burning stamford bridge?  (the following report was taken from “Grass Routes mailings”)

“dont want to go to chelski” (apol. to elvis Costello) ,…………… I want (US) to go to Athens… 😉

sunday 22.4.07…got a call from Marc at the weekend, a place in the Lunatics car to London and a tickie for the Champions League (CL)game at chelski, can we beat the "rent boys" again?.,after a couple of routine winning home games 2-0 v Middlesboro & Wigan to secure CL qualification for season 07/08 ("08" significant for LFC?) …..

I was recovering from a massive hangover, having celebrated with Wichert, Ellen & Hendrick, some dutch yuppies i met at the "bodegas" (where i went, alone, sad to be missing Belen) and having consumed bottles of Rioja, the kilkenny at S.O.B. irish pub finished me off…(fell off me bike , causing a delay in my recovery from injury, to my knee…must get fit for footy!)

sunday was the 12th anniversary of waking up from the meningitis-coma (a sort of resurrection?) ..significantly ending a period of my life…(but thats another "story") …and this last week probably ended my last "hope" of resurrecting my own children…Leon & Noela as the germans typical chicanery continues in Freiburgs "Landgericht" ..ruled by mickey mouse judges & lying lawyers…

so, devote myself to my beloved LIVERPOOL REDS …I will need to have a 5a.m. wake up call wednesday morning, to be at Mechelen(be) by 10hrs to meet Marc then by "bus" with the rest of the lads…last time I went to chelski was in the eighties, when it was just stamford bridge and its only
"fame" was the sheds "boot boys" and the "liquidator" skar(reggae) music that I also grew up with…as I spent a lot of my teenage years in the London area…mostly watching LFC winning at wembley, WHL, upton park, the bridge, etc, etc…i took some italian wine producers there and caught bronchitis!…hmmmm, I think it was a draw…or was it when kenny scored the league winner?,,,

The night before I had watched the film "Good Will Hunting" (one of my favourites…) and cant sleep…up at 5am, but…although the 06.18 leaves roughly on time …so, I caught the departure fromZwolle on time, and the train was going fine until amster. sud, and it stood for about 4 minutes (exactly the amount of time I had to change at  Schipol) so I got ready and jumped off the train only to find that the connecting train (7.42) to Mechelen was 20 mins
late!…(so I txt Marc) ..then "30 mins late"..go I go to the NS (!) info kiosk…she says "er I dont know!….I just came back from 1 year absence!" ….then "oh its been cancelled! -(panic!) you have to get the next" (8.42)

, ..I go down to the platform , txt Marc & Nico ..what shall I do, come or abort?…then the sign still says 30 mins late! ..I go to the kiosk-lady again, " its coming in a few minutues!" …oh sure, so now I dont believe anything…so Marc connects me to Bart (our bus driver) …change of plan I
should meet him Antwerp-berchem…ok no problem

all the people going on the earlier "international train" are on this one, and the corridors & gangways full of luggage, every stop has a delay of about 5 minutes, although no apology comes from the railco.I soon realise this train is about 15 mins late …by the time we are at the border stop
(Rosendahl) …distract myself by talking to a young lady with connections to Istanbul, Elifah is joining the "youth4all" programme in Niguagua – helping the poor! – makes a change to meet someone young not just helping themselves.

then as we near Antwerp , a confused announcement, "the train will be terminated due to technical problems" …oh no…but, they by-pass Antwerp central and terminate at Berchem, so I DO catch the Bart-bus,,,soon we pick up Marc, Nico, Dirk (not Kuyt) Cola-king and we are on our way to the
Chunnel, then I realise I have no "quids" …so when we get to Fulham (8 bells pub) I go bank-hunting, no "curency exchange" for aliens! ? so thanks, thos cook…to pay for my ticket and the bar-kitty! (miaoooooowwwww)..(paranoia sets in when I show the lads my 09/11 credit

Marc is working well "tickies for all" and the pre-match singing in the pub (a "chelski pub !!!) is one of the best I have experienced , all the oldie songs that only a few of us know and…on to the match…we are in the "shed" …out-singing the stupid flag-waving west-end rent-boy fans..disgusting , having to issue them with flags and orchestrate singing in a British stadium! disgraceful!…..but our team starts slowly giving the blues the initiative and we are 1-0 down, but the singing /support of the REDS away fans is the best in the World!

…and a second half rally brings the REDS back into the game,P.Cech pulls off an incredible save to
stop a left-footed volley from Stevie getting an important away goal…the rent boys & their arrogant fans celebrate like the tie is over….its not! ..its going to be a tough 2nd leg But, remind ourselves we beat them 2-0 at Anfield in the league this year, and I sing the lyrics "twas on the bus
from villa park" to myself…in HOPE..

trying to sleep on the bus back, and get a couple of hours on Nico’s couch at the Ekeren "stop over" (look after my progs bonny -lad!) and typically I only have a couple of mins between changes at Rosendahl & Rott. and I am back at Zwolle only 29hrs after leaving it. but I am wasted…the day going past with naps & siestas and I send a reply to the Landsgericht and the crooked lawyers who deny my appeals in Freiburg…and a letter to the kop (see below) another to Johnny Barnes (ref ALSIN) and remind the F"""ing Inland Revenue of my address,,,watch a DVD with my neighbour (only takes 10 months to get to this chance, because she has no DVD-system!) …Saturday i
begin "training" with a run around the block, got to get fit for the footy this summer>>>>Sunday…pre-queens day in Holland: then…….(JD)

Title : are you fooling yourself , Chris?

I sat down, a pub introduction
and started a little flirt
just being friendly
surely nothing that could hurt?

she told me she was married
so I backed away
though something in her eyes
told me she wanted to play

so I joined her later in another bar
her friend was single but seemed afar
drink after drink, bar after bar
we had a dance, her mouth was ajar

then suddenly we were coupled
caught in the moment
i dont know who started it
or what is has spent

but it felt so good
when she pulled me close
never mind the thorns
i enjoyed the rose

i yearn so much
for a fine romance
and wonder would I ever
get another chance?

like teenagers being naughty
we stopped in the park
kissing her breast
wow, what a lark!

back to my flat
and I was so nervous
so was she it seems
of the risk impervious

in my small bed
we made love or so I thought
she felt so wet
as her body I caught

when she cried
she touched my heart
I wanted her to be there
but tears tore me apart

i kissed all her body & held tight
her sweetest parts caught fire
and I poured myself in her
oh what release of desire

come away with me
I wanted to say
but with her family
I am sue she will stay

but early this morning
my eyes opened slowly
she gathered her clothes
and disappeared sort of lowly

not looking behind
no parting kiss
did she just use me?
are you fooling yourself, chris?

I write this to me
here I am again, alone
havent got her number
so cant even phone,

will she care, or will she choose
a 21-year old instead
her husband her family
or me a crazy alien RED

its unlikely, I know
should i just thank my luck
but is it so, modern women dont want love?
…do they just want a F**K?

monday…I saw HER in Zwolle, with friends and whilst she obviously has problems with her  husband I back off…and prepare for ….Tuesday off to the match, its a sunny start and I meet Bert & (cola) Kurt at Schipol (I mention later to Marc that as all flemish Lunatics have 4-letter names ;
Nico; Marc; Bert; Dirk & Kurt etc, I may change my name to KRIS!) we are on time at John Lennon (I always get a kick out of seeing the words of "Imagine" on the walls!) and the express bus is waiting , I go direct to Anfield (still "sans ticket") AIB Ticket officer says he didnt get my
letter of application (even though Marc saw me put it in the PO box before the PSV home CL game) …what can we do ? (I just wrote a letter to the kop, for what its worth)

I checked in at the Creative Arts village office, discussing the networking project (see the attached proposed plan) with MarK(!) ironically met Joop of ALSIN on the way from the office , he seemed totally unaware of my situation or that he had the ticket that I should have had from the Ger-mann! , but he’s not really the problem, a nice guy, Feyenoord fan, but not a 100% RED supporter and then caught up with MarC and the lads at tess o’Rileys…a few bevvies but no "spares" so I tank up with a rare "fish & chips" dinner before going to ALDO’s , watching the pre-match build up with
some nice locals then moved on to the nearby (massive) "Sports bar" with 3 levels of bars, restaurants & sports tv screens and downstairs a cinema-size screen for THE game!…
the KARMA was positive, it was almost like being in the stadium with disco-quad sound and the public singing as if they they were also on the KOP…I had "semi-final nerves" all day (a good sign) and lost my LFC badge (another good sign) so I was without "colours" (another good omen) and felt nervous but confident, in spirit with the team…2 young lads standing nearby seemed about as tense as myslef, and hugged me when we scored that clever goal, …made up for DAgger, he had taken some unwarranted stick after the london game, no forward could have scored it better than
that!…then late on Kuyts GOOD goal disallowed…but still feeling, hoping, PRAYing we could do it, chanting instructions to the team at every danger point, I felt i was there on the pitch alongside them tackling the blue sh*te…

extra time, then pens…Four Magnificently taken confident strikes from US , Bolo (who improved immensely in this tie) Xabi (our Istanbul pen-hero) Stevie (cooooool) and Dirk (deserved something for running his socks off for 120 minutes) …diver Robben & Geremi were SAVED by the heroic and athletic ability of Pepe Reina!!!!! GREAT! …every player had performed well (must mention Pennant who came of age in this tie, and JAR for coming out of his slump) CARRA , Finnan as usual,Stevie & Javier fighting and winning an outnumbered midfield, Crouchie and later Bellamy causing Chelski headaches too, we had DESERVEDLY overcome the DARK menace of Chelskis rent-boys ….

…and I was off and running around the room like hundreds of others hugging each other singing, screaming, laughing , crying in one wave of emotion that went on & on ..I got a taxi over to meet the Lunatics at Arthurs, and later had afters at the ALBERT …Bert, Kurt and I eventually
got a taxi to the centre grabbed a snack before catching the bus to the airport, with about half an hour nap before we had to check-in for the 6am departure to Amsterdam..

so the Mancs got caught out (i would have preferred to play them as I always thought we could beat them in the final) and its meeelaaaan /…ok so be it….you are ALL invited to the BIG Birthday party on 23 RD MAY in  ATHENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- will be there ("sans tickie") as I already booked my flight/accomodation 6 months ago! … (email team4L1verpooL@hotmail.co.uk if you have a tickie for me, REAL LFC supporters are welcome to share my studio-apartment near Athens)

title: an obsolete father (or "goodbye, i’m RED, not dead")

let land-lords whither & die
for stealing what belonged to you & I
this world that once was green, blue and true
is now almost wasted by the few

so let the money talk
whilst we imagine a walk
through fresh hills & valleys
and to swim in clear seas & streams
are they now my only dreams?

oh no, so much more in a better world
full of fun, footy, songs & laughter
selFISH fe-males make new rules
but we need more CARE and not more schools
give children a new chance
in another dimension ….not the "here-after"

before I move on, and leave this planet
imagine playing footy with my son
no more Adam, where is Le-on?
its more than 2 years since I held Noela
her new "pappa" is her mums new fella

my team is all thats left for me,
a part-time family – the global REDS
no family-tree, mostof them real people, you see?
i want to die, glorious, in battle,
not run-down by the "feds"…

…so kiss my arse..n*l goodbye…

title: dont waste my time

there is not a much bigger crime
than to wate my time
dont be a bore
i dont have much more

this life is all I have got
so dont let me rot
whilst I am waiting for you
and if you havent got a clue
what I am talking about
a smack in your ear
will solve your doubt!

I had supported several guys that had been damaged by the german system including Klaus and I was hoping to catch up with them and my kids, Leon and Noela when the LUNATICS played in the planned summer friendly footy tournament i FREIBURG (exactly ONE year after I had left that region…what a con-incidental life?)


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